scaredenglishmajor:

If anyone deserves a raise it’s the employee from four seasons total landscaping who answered the phone and went “yup, we can set up a podium and everything” and just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.

homoaquaticus:

someone: prohibition in the united states was largely ineffective, cost millions, tried to force a religious belief on the entire country, only ever resulted in the increase in consumption of alcohol, as well as the increase in police violence, and ultimately failed

people: okay yeah that’s true

someone: the war on drugs is the exact same thing except this time because of the militarization of the police and private prison interests, is much, much more deadly and specifically exists to justify and widely reinstate slavery within the united states

people: what? but drugs are #bad, and we can’t let people use them. obviously this is the only way to deal with this situation

im-mormon-and-not-straight:

My mom said that King Lamoni telling Ammon to go tend the flocks was a death sentence and all I could think of was

King Lamoni: Marry my daughter

Ammon: No

King Lamoni:

astriiformes:

astriiformes:

astriiformes:

astriiformes:

I hope this e-mail finds you living in a shotgun shack

I hope this e-mail finds you in another part of the world

I hope this e-mail finds you behind the wheel of a large automobile

I hope this e-mail finds you in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

tinaschild:

me: you guys believe everything you hear lmao its annoying

youtube: Illuminati Clones - Was Avril Lavigne Replaced?

me: